#15 A model student
"I deserve an A for this course because I was a model student."
I've heard some whoppers, but this one came from a student who completed, I think, 2 of the 5 required papers (and both were shit), missed half of the classes, was 15+ minutes late every time he did show up, never participated in discussions, and didn't turn in a single homework assignment. To this day, the lack of self-awareness boggles my mind.
- HereComesBadNews
#14 Karma knows best
"Next year, you're still going to be here bullshitting, and I'm going to be making it big in the real world."
He got held back. He is not in my class this year.-knight_of_selesny
#13 A prick of a student
Middle schooler said "I'm only taking Spanish so I can tell my housekeeper what she needs to do."- anchulautot
#12 Talk about being stuck up..
4th grader, "I don't need to do good in school. I can go to any college I want my parents are rich"- jibbodahibbo
#11 The Father
"Do you KNOW who my father is?"
His dad was the head of the school board. No fucks were given that day.
I've also had a kid say:
"Didn't you wear that outfit last week? Hahahaha!" (This was at a very wealthy school)- lilmommy89
#10 Talk about over-confidence!
First year grad student stayed after on Day 1 to tell me, "Just so you know, I'm going to be very bored in your class. But it's not your fault - I just already know everything you're going to talk about."
She completed the course with a D-, failed both of her other classes, lost her funding, and now works at Panda Express.-bruno-s
#9 "I'm paying for this."
Wasn't there in person, but this was relayed to me by a classmate.
Girl was in surgery rotation in medical school. Despite being told to be careful, she knocks over a sterile instrument tray right before they're about to cut into the person who was already under anesthesia. The lead surgeon flips his shit and tells all the students to get the fuck out.
"You can't kick me out of here, I'm paying for this."
She had to look through the windows into the OR for 2 week.- kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf
#8 Dear Lord
Not from a student, but from the student's parent: "He doesn't need to do math, 'cause he's a prophet! Prophets don't do math! Would you make Jesus do math?"-dr239
#7 What?!
"My mom pays your salary, so give me an A."-Secretly_psycho
#6 This is why humanity is doomed.
Not personally, but while I was student teaching in a wealthy area, another teacher told me he heard a student say that their parents got them a crappy car, but it was just until they totaled it. Then after they destroyed it and learned their lesson, they'd get a Ferrari.- Sw6roj
#5 Doomed!!!
A student asked me why I was a professor, followed by "Because, from what I understand, those who can't do, teach."-prof_h_h
#4 Watch your mouth!
I once overheard a student in the college level science major specific class that I teach say "I wonder if this teacher will be able to tell me something I don't already know" and apparently I did because he failed the class with a 32%.- MIKEl281
#3 Imagine having to put up with this student for an entire year
Some context: it's a private catholic school but not the safest/ best around. I was suggesting to a student to stop wearing their watch because it might be stolen
"But this is just my everyday Rolex"-jph1299
#2 Evidence
Student turned in his final paper and instead of responding to one of the prompts he wrote his paper on how much he hated the class and how terrible we were as teaching staff. I gave him a B because while he didn't answer a prompt he backed his claims up with evidence which is well above average work compared to his classmates.- Exact_bro
#1 Best comeback ever!
Student: "I don't deserve an F you fucking prick!"
Professor: "I know, but it's as low as I can give you."
Source - Email between my dad (CC prof) and one of his more charming students.- exhale_lent
