#17 Crazy Wife
This was after she got pregnant...
She used to drown stray cats in a bucket.... Yeaaaah I have custody of our kids now.
She was pretty normal acting for the most part. Until... I personally think the hormone changes of pregnancy did something to her. She. Lost. Her. Mind.
Living in a mother's state, there was not much I could do about it, unless she actually wanted to have a psyche evaluation. So I stayed with her to protect the kid. Then kids. Until one day she took the kids and ran off with her lover. Mother's state, still not much I could do about this.
She is a sociopath.
Remember kids, sociopaths know how to look and act acceptable. Unless something happens, you seriously cannot spot one in the wild.
-el_DOOM
#16 Assumptions can be very dangerous.
That she was gay. This is significant because I am straight and assumed she was as well.
-Jabez77
#15 Didn't See This Coming
After the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna story broke, she said "I don't see what the big deal is. I'd slap you around too if you ever check my cell phone."
-laterdude
#14 Whats's wrong with cucumbers?
He had never, in 35 years, tasted cucumber. Went to a spa for our first anniversary, and with a horrified face, he told me, "Oh god, I think this water has gone bad...." The cucumber water in the ice cold dispenser.
We discovered my husband hates, absolutely hates the taste of cucumber that day.
-Figs81
#13 That might come in handy....
My wife can make balloon animals and I never knew it. One day we were sitting at home with the kids and after I brought home the wrong type of balloons out of nowhere she twists up a dog, then a monkey.
-DiNAMiK
#12 Tickle Tickle
I would wake up early for work and tickle one of his feet, he would snatch it back under the cover quickly and then sloowwwwly push it back to its spot peeking out from under the blanket.
I thought this was a cute game we played whenever I was leaving for work and I did it every morning for almost 2 years. Then one day after I had moved in, I did it to him while he was awake and he gave me a confused look and asked "What are you doing?"
I told him I was just trying to play our morning tickle game and he had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. Turns out, he's only ticklish when he's sleeping and I was unknowingly playing a game alone for almost 2 years.
-Ann_Slanders
#11 Whaaaaattt?!
That her butt functions as a low level fog horn some mornings.
-jumjimbo
#10 Ouch
I had no idea that after we got married he wouldn't be nearly as interested in sex anymore.
-anonymous
#9 Awww...so cute!
About to celebrate 2 months of marriage, so I'm still part of the newlywed club. My husband and I didn't live together until after we got married and I discovered his sleep talking...which happens almost every night. He's had full conversations with me thinking my name was Steve-o, yelled "two players now, who's going down," but my personal favorite is when he rolled over and said, "I just know it's gonna be a Happy Halloween soon."
-alli-oop
#8 Found that out the hard way huh?
I thought I was the disorganized, messy one. I was not the disorganized, messy one.
-djw319
#7 Oh My....
No one came to his 8th birthday party after his dad died and even now he gets too much anxiety over birthday parties to have them for himself.
-effieokay
#6 If it can happen once, it can happen again
She had two other kids, that she'd abandoned. After my youngest (with her) was just over one year old, we didn't see her for almost ten years.
I have custody, FYI.
-chaiulud
#5 TBH I would be upset too....
My wife turned out to be extremely food jealous. If I am eating something that looks and tastes better than what she is eating, she gets pretty upset if I don't offer her any.
-KCFirepower
#4 But isn't he supposed to do that...?
That he takes the title of "husband " very seriously. It's almost like I married a different person that's way more responsible than the person I dated. He dragged his feet to get a job and contribute when we were dating, and now he's kicked it up ten notches.
-aggiechicken
#3 Wow
That he supported his buddy's family financially while his buddy spent a year in federal prison, not "England" as everyone else was told.
My husband kept his buddy's employment open by doing his buddy's job as well as his own job during that year.
-gerenspeil
#2 So funny!
Her sneezes are so loud. Seriously, I never heard her sneeze before we were married.
She's a small person. But I could be in my office, with the door closed, while she is in the master bedroom across the house, again with the door closed. And I hear
ACHOOOOO
Then I text her "bless you."
-reddit_is_not_evil
#1 Such a kid!
That rice crispy treats are his favorite "baked" good. He had never so much as mentioned them before to me. Two years married and suddenly- this bombshell! Out of the blue!
But seriously: after we got married I realized that he wasn't as calm as he seemed.
He can actually get very anxious (like a normal human being) and if he doesn't do something active for a few days (work out, run, etc) he gets hyper like a 3 year old on a sugar high- manic, can't sit still, loud singing....
It's quite something to behold.
-NewEnglandlovah
