19 Chipotle Employees Confess Secrets They've Always Wanted To Tell Customers But Can't
Chipotle employees may seem like divine entities to mere mortals like us because they are the keepers of guacamole and burrito, they still have secrets like the rest of us. Some of them are secrets that they desperately want to let their customers in on but cannot because they may end up getting fired. So a group of Chipotle employees took to Whispr in order to anonymously reveal some confidential stuff that we should probably know.
#1 They dislike your kids
Let's face it, while it is necessary to encourage kids to make their own decisions about what they want to eat, every parent knows that their kid has the attention span of a chipmunk which means that letting them order will take a while. Ain't nobody got time for that! Especially not this particular employee.
#2 They give the cute ones extra
This should come as no surprise at all. They look at bread and baked beans all day long. You're the only aesthetically pleasing thing they encounter. Besides, isn't there a saying that goes, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" Enjoy the attention and extra fillings while it lasts.
#3 The quessarito is a bad choice
Let's just take the hint and not order the quessarito, shall we?
#4 This alarming confession
This is kind of unsettling and sad at the same time, having to hide the truth for fear of being unemployed. But it tastes so good, how could Chipotle do any harm?
#5 Chipotle is like the new Las Vegas
Really? Married in the lobby at Chipotle? Taking it just a little too far. Just maybe. City Hall or Las Vegas would probably have been just as cheap and at the latter you'd have an Elvis impersonator marrying you. Would you really prefer a man dressed like a burrito bowl over an Elvis impersonator?
#6 Perks of working at Chipotle
Who wouldn't want to go home with a bag of chips and dip every night? Of course this employee is loving life! Working at Chipotle doesn't seem like such a bad option now.
#7 This one needs a hug
Perhaps free chips and dip every night isn't enough for this employee. Stay strong, anonymous employee.
#8 Chipotle v/s Taco Bell
Well look at it this way, if he/she did crave Chipotle as much as Taco Bell, they'd probably end up getting fired for eating all the produce anyway.
#9 The Catch-22 situation
On the one hand, they're easily irritated if we don't know what we want when we get to the front, on the other hand they get mad at us if we have a massive order. We can never win with you Chipotle employees, can we?
#10 The Leftovers
Guilty as charged. I hear you, Anon Employee. We're savages while eating. We'll keep it clean though. Next time. Promise.
#11 Don't hate the messenger
They can't be blamed for the miniscule portions of meat. They're only trying to stick to the prescribed portion that they're allowed per serving and keep their head above water.
#12 Don't bite the hand that feeds you
This confession perfectly encapsulates the ways in which Chipotle employees get to play God from time to time. So if you've been especially annoying or condescending while placing your order don't be surprised to find huge chunks of avocado in your burrito bowl even though you specifically asked for one without it. You may hear an evil, Machiavellian laugh as you pick out unwanted toppings from your burrito bowl.
#13 They're watching you
This post will be the death of the #chipotleselfie trend. Yes, that is a real thing. Or at least it was until this Anon Employee ruined it and made us feel conscious and stupid. Thanks.
#14 Nothing personal, it's just their job
There's just no way to be chilled out where food is concerned, is there? We tend to get cranky when we're hungry and they get annoyed when we're cranky. It's a vicious cycle.
#15 They're good at rolling burritos for a reason
Perhaps there is a way to escape the mind numbing experience of working at Chipotle every day. Not sure company policy allows that though. Our lips are sealed, Anon Employee.
#16 The only one who enjoys the job
Yay! We're ending on a positive note! Thank you for restoring our faith in Chipotle and humanity, Anon Employee. We hope your optimism never unravels. Good luck!
