18 Confessions From People About Their Worst And Most Disgusting Family Recipes
My mom liked to make spaghetti. "That's not weird!" I hear you say. It wasn't the dish - it was what she put in it. She didn't use spaghetti sauce or even meat. Instead, she would just boil the noodles, then throw in a bunch of dried out old raisins. Just cooked spaghetti and rehydrated raisins on a plate.
She was very proud of this dish and didn't understand why we hated mom's day to cook.
#17 Asparagus salad
"Asparagus salad" which consisted of 5-6 limp, cold pieces of canned asparagus served on a bed of iceberg lettuce with a glob of mayo on top.
#16 Paprika soup
No broth. No solids.
Boiled water with pepper and paprika.
At some point frugality becomes a mental illness.
#15 Poor Dude
My mom used to make a Vietnamese noodle dish called bun rieu but didn't always have time to make it from scratch, so she often used a canned broth.
I am allergic to peanuts and Everytime she made this dish i would complain to her that I didn't want to eat anymore because my lips were swelling up and I was itchy.
She is having none of that sass obviously and makes me eat the whole bowl.
Few years down the line she decides to read the ingredients label on the back and just says "eh....you probably should stop eating that."
#14 Mushroom Soup Sandwiches
When they were younger, my mom and her siblings were forced to eat cream of mushroom soup sandwiches. Her dad would slice the soup like cranberry sauce and spread it across the bread.
#13 Cat Heads
My mom made (and still makes) a dish called Cat Heads. It's basically chicken with cream of celery, some vegetables, and a bit of stew inside two rolled up crescent rolls. It looks exactly like a shaved, cooked cat's head, so she called it that and we have it every Christmas.
My mom would mix cooked mac and cheese with applesauce in a bowl and give it to us.
#11 Skim Milk
We grew up dirt poor, and relied heavily on the area soup kitchens and food pantries. There were five of us kids with a stay-at-home-mom, and my dad was unemployed for a few years, so we rarely could afford basic things like fruit.
To keep us healthy, my dad would regularly fill an empty skim milk jug with water and add powdered milk + powdered vitamin tablets (the type with the capsule) and shake it up, then put it in the fridge. We never really knew whether we were drinking actual milk or the vile false milk until we tasted it, since skim milk has the same appearance.
To this day, my dad maintains that doing what he did kept us all healthy as none of us got sick during his unemployment.
My grandmother made this soup called Czernina. Noodles and duck meat floating in a deadly mixture of broth, duck blood, sugar, and vinegar. Sometimes it also had prunes in it. It looks as unappetizing as it sounds. Everyone seemed to like it, but it grossed me out so much.
#9 Shake and Incinerate
My mom loved making pork chops, but cooked the HELL out of them, so it was like eating rubber. We ended up calling the dinner 'Shake and Incinerate'.
#8 Soda Milk
Soda milk. Exactly what it sounds like. My mom didn't want to give us straight soda so she would mix soda and milk. We thought it was normal and evidently liked it. No idea how I haven't been committed.
My mom, God bless her, was not a very talented cook. She tried, but she just wasn't interested and didn't have the knack. At least I got a home-cooked meal most nights, so I can't complain.
Mom used to buy these awful Polish sausages. She would take a few and throw them in a pot of water with a head of cabbage. Let everything boil for a while and that was dinner. Mom called it "bratwurst."
I lived in fear of "bratwurst" my whole life until I was in college. There was a German festival and all of my friends were like, "Oh boy! Let's go get some brats!"
I thought they were crazy. Then someone handed me a real brat on a bun with spicy mustard and sauerkraut and I realized that I had been all wrong about the true nature of bratwurst. That was probably the best thing I learned in college.
My parents have become great cooks now, but when my sister and I were kids, she was a total brat and a picky eater, so we'd wind up with plain unseasoned chicken breasts and steamed broccoli and plain white rice way too often.
And I wasn't allowed to put salt on it because salt was bad for me, and I guess it didn't occur to them to provide any kind of condiment or something to give that crap some flavour.
Mom would make frozen whitefish - baked in an oven until it was overcooked and just dehydrated shrunken fillets of white fish. Then she'd serve it with boiled cauliflower and white rice.
White entree, white starch, white vegetable. All served on a white plate. What did we drink? Yeah, milk. White milk.
My dad got into a phase of watching Emeril and it inspired him to try and be fancy.
I'll never forget. He made these hamburger patties and put chunks of bread mixed in with the raw meat. But the bread just absorbed all the blood. They looked like huge mushy, bloody warts hanging off the meat. It was absolutely repulsive looking.
#3 That is scary....
My parents didn't regularly make food and would eat left overs well past their pull date. Recent example, my dad is still eating a ham he bought pre-cooked in October *shudders*
#2 Arroz Con Pollo
Let me preface this by saying that my mother is in no way Hispanic. She grew up mainly in central Florida and the upper Midwest, rarely if at all coming into contact with Latin American culture except at the occasional restaurant.
Despite this, she would routinely make "arroz con pollo" for dinner. This consisted of chicken cooked until it was tough and chewy (to ensure it was "cooked through") and rolled in flavorless breadcrumbs from a can, served with a side of mealy, aggressively underseasoned rice.
Did I mention that there was almost no salt in any of this, because salt was "unhealthy?" It was so unpleasant that I threw it right back up a few times, once even at the table.
Somehow she still wonders why I barely eat anything when I'm home for Thanksgiving.
My mom was from the "boil the ever loving crap out of everything" school of cooking. Carrots boiled to sad orangish lumps. Broccoli steamed beyond any recognition.
Corn may have started fresh but by the time she was done with it, it resembled creamed corn but lacking any possible flavor or texture. Bbq chicken? Boil that thing COMPLETELY before you blacken it on the grill, lest you and everyone you love die horrifically from salmonella. The things she would do to a steak are crimes against humanity.
Combine all this with an 80s desire to avoid salt at all costs, and my dad's pathological fear of bad breath resulting in a blanket household ban on onions and garlic, and mealtime was a greyish, disappointing place. I now take cooking very seriously.
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