Best Divorce Letter
The husband wrote a letter to his wife making her aware that he is going to leave her and he has been a good man to her for 7 years and he doesn’t have anything to prove that.
He says that “These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore.”
He then continues that she doesn’t get physical with him anymore and that makes him doubt her of her loyalty to him. And that he is done and gone. He signs off as “Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!”
The wife then thinks of a better comeback and writes to her ex-husband, that receiving the letter made her day and that he was far from good and then continued writing, “I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!”
She then said that her mother had raised her right and that is the reason she didn’t say it to his face. Then she continued, “And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.”
2 Tickets to Jamaica
She had known about their affair but she loved him and so she thought that she could work out this marriage. But then she hit the lot and won 10 Million dollars, which is why she quit her job and brought 2 tickets to Jamaica.
The epic sign off!
The ending will surely crack you into laughter, she said, “But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.”
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