From Killing Cats To Swearing At Mothers, These Guests Are The Ultimate Test Of One's Host Skills!
My new high school friend was sleeping over for the first time. I didn't have many friends in high school, so it was a big deal for me to be having a friend over.
Everything was going well until it was time to head to bed. We were watching our second movie of the night, just having a classic sleepover movie night, and my mom came in and politely reminded us it was late and time for bed. My friend, my new pal, turned to my mom and SWORE at her. Yes, swore at my mom. Told her to ___ off.
I have never been so angry and embarrassed in my whole life. There is no one I respect more than my mother. I was so speechless, when my mom said, "Oh, really? Well I guess, instead, it's time for you to leave." No joke, 11:00 at night and my mom drives this girl home. Do not mess with that woman.
#16 Cat Killer
Put the cat out on the balcony at night when everyone was sleeping "because she wouldn't stop meowing". We lived on the 14th floor. Found her in the morning hiding under a tree with 6 broken ribs. He never even said sorry.
That cat barely ever meowed, she was a very quiet cat so I have a hard time believing his story/reasoning. Yeah, so basically he almost killed my cat for no reason.
#15 What the...?
My dad is a realtor, and he invited a potential buyer who was a long-time friend to our house for dinner. My mom is an amazing cook and was working for hours to make a great meal, to ensure that the deal would be successful. As dinner was winding down my mom....
As dinner was winding down my mom began serving everyone coffee. When our guest ran out of coffee, instead of asking for more he simply tapped his spoon against the coffee mug until my mom took it away.
He was never invited back.
#14 Poop Fairy?
Stay the night and pooped in a large McDonald's cup because the bathroom was too far away, leaving it outside of my window covered in rags. They still deny it. I guess the poop monster stopped by my house that night...
#13 Over what now?
A friend of mine kicked a hole in the wall because he lost a game of rock paper scissors. He was sober. We were all sober.
#12 Pushing The Limits
Okay the story I'm about to tell makes me so angry that my hands are practically shaking.
So my mom "invited" one of her childhood friends to our house for spring break last year. This woman also had a son, we'll call him A. So they waltz into our house, acting like they own the damn place. Keep in mind my mom hasn't talked to her since high school. They found each other on Facebook and this lady, we'll call her "Auntie M" because that's what she demanded my sister and I call her, basically invited herself over to our house. Just a few of the things they did:
So this dysfunctional duo shows up at our house and immediately claim my sister's room. Literally walked upstairs and just put their bags on her bed.
The son was like a fast food addict so my sister and/or I would have to drive him to a restaurant every meal, he literally would not eat/finish a single thing my mom made. Finally, my mom made something she thought he would actually eat – these bomb chicken rolls. He finished three of his when I was on my second one and proceeds to reach across the table and grab my last one off my plate.
Auntie M, her 3rd night at our house, started verbally harassing my sister. First she told her to lose some weight, then she told my sister to go get a haircut. She told my sister her hair looked like "a rat's nest, caked in poo." That night she snuck into my room where my sister and I were sleeping, and CUT HER HAIR. She offered to clean up the hair off the floor in the morning, but other than that she wasn't apologetic in the least.
It was true insanity.
#11 Wine Thief
Drank all my wine, re-filled it with dyed water and put it back in my cabinet. That's when I decided to go from bottled wine to boxed wine.
#10 What's with the poop?! Seriously....
So my parents had just bought a house, I was probably 12-13. My mom had her friends come over for a small house warming party. Now there was a powder room that we never used, that way it was always clean. Anyway, the night goes by and everyone leaves. My dad was cleaning up and went to the powder room and found My dad was cleaning up and went to the powder room and found a turd wrapped up in toilet paper hidden under the toilet! We had a small dog at the time but we were certain that this poop was too big for our dog. One of the ladies that came that night had pooped outside the toilet, took the time to wrap it up and hide it!
Such a weird thing.
#9 Too Much Man....Too Much
When I was in high school, by brother had a friend over for a sleepover. Whenever this particular friend came over, he and my brother would sneak into out back shed and get high.
That night, my mom had come home unexpectedly, so being a good sister, I went to warn my brother. However, when I got back the shed, I saw that my brother had left to go to the convenience store around the corner. His friend was still there though. He had my 2 year old sister is his arms and was blowing smoke into her FACE, laughing really hard while she cried. I started yelling, grabbing my sister and pushing him away from her. Instead of apologizing, he just kept laughing.
My brother got so pissed when I told him that he made his "friend" leave and never spoke to him again.
#8 Structure safe
Well my wife and I were hosting a dinner party for the employees of my company. One of our branch managers brought one his stranger employees. The employee asked us the square footage of the house then the branch manager said that's a rude question to ask and proceeded to ask us how much we paid the house for. The employee of the branch manager then started shaking banisters on the stairs to "test" them. He wanted to know how structurally sound the house was. He also tried to test the chimney.
#7 Home Cat
It was the week of Thanksgiving and because we were going to be preparing food all week, we put the cats in the garage with all the necessities and had them stay there for the weekend/until people cleared out. One of my aunts didn't approve of what they (cats) were doing to the house and thought that she was helping by getting rid of them.
Fast forward a few days after Because she didn't tell anyone, I was a nervous wreck for days thinking that the cats might have died and that we might find little cat bodies in the garage later (Panic does not suit me well). Anyway, we were hoping that they might have just run off and been exploring the neighborhood, since two of them were notorious for disappearing for as little as a few hours or as long as a week. What was strange to us was that the other two cats were more home-y and as such, it seemed unlikely that they'd be ones to run off. Another few days pass, and I am talking to my mother and she breaks the news to me. It turns out that my aunt sent a text to her saying that she knows what she did wasn't in line, but still thought that it was necessary and that's why she did what she did. She did say that she wasn't proud of what she did, but it didn't make me feel any better. I heard the fate of my cat from my mother and based on what she told me, my cousin (the culprit's daughter) thought he was too cute to dump, and she gave him to a neighbor in her apartment complex.
Then, a few more days later (it's been roughly a week and a half to two weeks by this point) one of the outside cats is sitting on our front steps in front of our door wanting to come in. We let him and and see that he's covered it dirt, visibly exhausted, and looks like he's been through Hell and back. We give him a bath and he seems uneasy for the next few days, but seems somewhat relived that he's back home again.
#6 Oh God...Not Again
My son's friend came to visit for a weekend and ended up staying for almost a month. When I told him it was time for him to go home, he left a turd under a shampoo bottle in my shower. I don't know if he actually pooped in his hand in the shower and then smooshed it under the shampoo bottle for me to find later, or if he fished it out of the toilet and stuck it there... either way... weirdo!
#5 New House...Not
He took a bowl of spaghetti O's to the guest bedroom, in the new house that we had just moved into 4 months prior, where he proceeded to drop the entire bowl onto our off white carpet. In his desperate attempt to fix the problem, he used the bath towels and a few linens to try and wipe it up. All this did was grind the sauce and pasta into the carpet. Some people might be really mad about that part of the story, but it gets better Since he didn't know where the carpet cleaner was, or the steam vac, and since he didn't want to bother my wife or I with his screw up, he proceeded to use bleach to try and "make the stain disappear." After he left our home, two days later, we found the mess and attempted to clean it up with the steam vac. It removed the majority of the red sauce, but once it dried, if became obvious that the carpets had been bleached. I know you're wondering, what person would do such a thing?
That responsible person would be my father in law.
I'm fairly sure a friend used my vibrator I had left in the bathroom. She used my shower and that's fine but half way through I remember it was in the drawer so soon as she opened the door, I told her I had to pee. I opened the drawer to move it to my bedroom and it was really really warm.
#3 No Exception
Threw up on my floor and refused to clean it up. Then she giggled right afterwards like it was funny.
I wanted to punch her in the face, but I try not to resort to violence unless it's completely necessary. Plus she was only six months old.
#2 Pizza Payment
Ordered a pizza for himself and expected us to pay for it.
#1 Dirt Is Dirt
Walk in my house with dirty shoes on. WHAT THE HECK.
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