The Biggest Debate: Chivalry vs Feminism!

What exactly is "modern feminism"? Whether you’re with the Time and see it as "hot, rude and self-confident , because we’re not throwing ourselves under horses anymore, or more inclined to agree with this magazine and say that we’re all just obsessed with gin and cake, there’s no denying that we’re seeing something of a new wave.

Obviously, the one main issue facing modern feminism is men, and, though we don’t want to leave all or even any of them , there’s no point hiding behind words like “sexism” or “patriarchy” when considering who’s really in charge today, and who has the power to prevent us from climbing up there on the phallic plinth beside them. It’s men, pure and simple.

Eight out of ten women still do more housework than their male partners, and those with dependent children are even more likely to be slaving away. Being part of a couple where you both do an equal amount of housework doesn’t condemn you to divorce, depression.

It should go without saying that making the choice to stay at home is as admirable as any work, and a choice that deserves social recognition rather than eye-rolling snipes about "desperate housewives", but the point is that many can’t make a choice when their hand is forced financially or socially.

You have touched on the struggle of the modern-age female. You want to be equal to the opposite sex, but also to be DESIRED and chased after, in a dying system which was designed to both protect women and also keep them down. But the fact is, this system offered a certain romance and charm which is becoming nonexistent today.

People don’t want to admit it - especially feminists - but I assure you are not weird for asking this. Lots of women feel this way, and are frustrated. Many modern women will never admit that they desire the traditional relationship.

That is chivalry: a sophisticated, softer version of patriarchy. It tells you to do certain things for the opposite gender to be a ‘gentleman’; certain things –that women might not look good doing. Like opening doors for a man, standing in a bus while a ‘man’ sits, or paying for a male friend’s coffee, and various other things that the society ‘assumes’ women should not be doing.

Your struggle is no less than the struggle of the modern male, who has been taught to open doors for women, give females seats on the bus, pay for dinner, never raise a hand against them even when attacked, etc. - and yet also treat you all as “equals” at the same time. Obviously, this does not compute.

A recent article written by a self-proclaimed male feminist brought up an interesting paradox of chivalry: when men act according to traditional gender norms, women of feminist hues get offended, but when men fail to adhere to these ‘norms’, women are disappointed that they’re not being treated better.

Women constantly complain that there are no “good” men anymore, saying that men these days are no longer romantic and are no longer chivalrous.

Feminism has changed our gender roles and societal norms. He’s struggling with this too. Remember that. Again, balance and adaption are key. These are the growing pains of equality!

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