8 People Sharing How Their Life Has Changed In Arranged Marriage!
Hi my first marriage was arranged-ish my husband family made an arrangement with my father when I was 12 that I would marry their middle son who was two years older then me when I was 18 and had finished school. I knew him already his sister was my best friend and he was friends with my brothers. We never talked much till we made our engagement official and he had paid me my Mahr and in the about six months between our engagement and our wedding we hung out and went on "dates" talked on the phone got to know each other personally. I grew to like him a lot I wouldn't go so far as to say that I loved him. I grew to love him eventually and he was a very nice caring sweet guy and treated me well. He supported me going to university. We had a good life together we loved traveling together we both loved photography. We had been talking about having kids when I was finished with university.We weren't married very long only two years before he died in a car accident. I think we could have made things work with more time.
Sex was fine we were both virgins when got married I tried doing what I saw in porn but it didn't work out to well but like all things we got better with practice.
#7 Arranged Marriages Ain't That Bad!
My parents and aunt arranged a marriage for me and I traveled back to my country, met her once before the marriage. First night she was really shy and kept hiding under the blanket and pulling it away from me while giggling, nothing happened that night, then she got a call the next day from her mother and they kept talking for half an hour.
It happened then later that night when we were in bed innocently watching TV, then she looked at me and said maybe the first complete sentence: "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" in a nervous voice. So I laughed and played it funny, then started gently kissing, hugging, and joked a bit then two hours later we are doing it and now I've two kids from her and she turned 26 last month.
Arranged isn't as bad as it sounds, but back in my place it's normal to have arranged marriages and even marriages without seeing the bride. Mine was great considering there are parents who wait outside the room to her the daughter orgasm to make sure she's virgin.
#6 Money Cannot Buy You A Partner But Other Pleasure..
Like a fool I opted for an arranged marriage on the rebound. The girl I was originally seeing was ludicrous. But something strange happens when you get rejected, more so than the hurt...You become incapable of making good decisions.
Anyhow, was introduced to a girl. She had different interests, a different outlook on life and didn't take to kindly to my casual humor. So like an idiot I got engaged to her. Over the course of the engagement I was really busy with work so didn't see her at all. Then came the marriage. It was surreal. There I was sitting on stage with a girl I hardly knew, getting married!
Fast forward to the honeymoon. We were like awkward strangers. We actually never had sex on our honeymoon. Was the sex awkward? You're damn right it was.
Do I have regrets? Don't we all?
Have I messed my life up? Not totally, I earn quite a lot. And unlike the BS you hear in the movies, money gives you great options in life, and I try to enjoy as much of it as possible.
#5 Best Birthday Present Ever!!
Not a lot of people know that I'm in an arranged marriage. Yep, my wife was chosen for me from before I was really cognizant of what love was all about. My family, well, I don't want to give too much away, there's a certain institution involved that gets really bent out of shape when stuff like this gets out on the Internet, but my folks were in deep. My wife's actually a few years younger than I am, so it's possible that we were arranged to be married before I was even born. But I'm not really sure, because nobody talks about it anymore.
But, and this is the crazy part here it actually wound up totally working out. Although you wouldn't have thought it would have if you were in my shoes about ten years ago. When I was a little kid, I just kind of grew up assuming that I'd get married when I was eighteen to my prearranged wife, someone I may or may not have known from the community. I wasn't allowed to watch any regular TV shows or questionable pop culture stuff, so -and you hear this from a lot of people in my situation- nothing really struck me as out of the ordinary.
So on my eighteenth birthday, I wake up, my parents tell me to come downstairs, and there's this girl ... look, I don't want to get mean here. I mean, if I say she was ugly, and then I describe her, I don't want anybody out there on the Internet to read this and think, "Oh my God, I look just like how he's describing this girl. I must be ugly too," because that's crazy. Who's to say what's pretty and what's ugly? Isn't it all about perspective, beauty in the eye of the something or other?
But, from my eighteen year old perspective anyway, this girl was not attractive. "Son," my dad stood there, beaming, "Meet your fiancee, Shelly." And I was automatically put off, I had this crazy anxiety like I'd never experienced before. But I saw my parents standing there, they were happy, I was a good kid, I never bucked the system of anything, and so I smiled too, because, that's what I did, I always tried to be a good kid and make my parents happy. That's what this life was, and I was just going along with it.
"Well son," my dad continued, "Don't you want to say hi?" And I did, I said a bunch of really awkward hellos, I did this weird handshake that almost morphed into a weird hug, but she kind of recoiled, and I didn't get much more aggressive than attempting a very lukewarm embrace. But I smiled.
"So this is OK with you?" my dad asked, "You're happy with your new fiancee?" And I gushed, "Yes dad, I'm really happy, I can't wait to get married," stuff like that.
My dad looked at my mom, and my dad said, "Phew, all right, good job, he passed." They both looked really relieved. "You can go Shelly."
And Shelly left. "Mom? Dad?" I asked, "What's going on?"
"Well son, your mother and I were concerned about your commitment to our way of life. Sure, you say you're into this whole arranged marriage business, and maybe if we brought you down here to meet someone a little more ..." again, I hate to say ugly, but she was ugly.
My mom picked up, "It's just that, well, seeing you ready to marry that other girl, your father and are both very convinced of your convictions."
"So if I'm not going to marry her, than who?"
And we got married, and it was great. Hell yeah, arranged marriage, I'm totally pro arranged marriages!
If you're still not moved by these amazing stories, there's more ahead.
# Arranged Love Marriage.
I am currently in a marriage that would be considered arranged. In my case, I mentioned to my parents that I liked the girl, and they proceeded with everything else. I was pretty involved and know that my wife was OK with the proposal, so there was nothing forced about it. I am born and raised in the US, my wife was born and raised overseas and moved here after we were married. We are going on our 11th year and have 3 wonderful children. Despite ups and downs, I feel that we are very happy.
My wife is absolutely beautiful to me and always stands out to me no matter where we are, and is THE single most nicest and most comforting person I have ever met. From this union we have become a solid rock to many people in our family and definitely give the impression of a happy loving couple in otherwise chaotic and turbulent relationships of our friends / family around us. I will admit that the first 3yrs, despite having a child, it was a little weird, but kind of in a positive way looking back. We always spoke to each other respectfully, and then it slowly broke away into more casual speaking. At this stage, I couldn't imagine anyone else as my wife, and feel that we were meant to be - no matter how we came to be together.
#3 Overseas Love!
Had an arranged marriage when I turned 28.
I grew up in the US and got married to a girl from back home (Pakistan). I'd had girlfriends before but never had sex.
I had a lot of anxiety about my first sexual encounter but I was pretty confident going in because I figured my wife was this good girl from back home who was just overwhelmed right now with all these changes and the new scenery (she came here from Pakistan).
I bought the most regular ass condoms and no lube. We made out for a while but then when I went to do the deed it would just not go in. I got frustrated and just gave up, blueballs'd like hell. I felt like such a failure. But, she told me not to worry about it and helped me in...other ways. I didn't actually do the deed till like the 4th or 5th attempt (several days later). But she was so sweet and never made me feel uncomfortable at all, despite how overwhelming the situation of being in a new country and leaving behind her family and friends was for her.
Still happily married after 12 years with 3 beautiful kids.
The next two might push you go for arrange marriage..
#2 Such A Heartwarming Story..
My marriage was a traditional, arranged Islamic marriage. I'm 34 years old was married 8 years ago to my Amazing wife.
She was the sister of a friend. I told my friend I wanted to get married and after asking me what I wanted in a wife he suggested another friends sister.
I first went to meet with her father, we spoke about marriage and what I was looking for etc. He told me about his daughter and what she was like etc. Afterwards we had dinner, some tea then everyone left and I was introduced to my wife.
We spent about 30 minutes talking together which was difficult because she didn't speak any English and I didn't speak much Arabic at the time. But everything went very well and then I was asked... "Do you want her" I said yes, and we were engaged.
We met a couple days later for about 30 minutes then I left the country for work. I didn't see or speak to her for more than a year after that ( was working double shifts to get the Dowry, and wedding money ready.)
I know it sounds strange but in that year I developed a love for my wife I can't explain. I knew so little about her but we just clicked. I spent that year away planning the perfect wedding for her and buying her gifts and things I thought she would like.
I returned after a year and did a Casanova. (I wasn't permitted to see her until we signed the marriage contract. ) I sent flowers to her house with a friend, then I sent her a total of a dozen gifts every couple hours. Gold, perfumes, more gold, lots more gold, and some other romantic kinda things. I saved the diamond ring for last.
The day came for the Akht al nikkah (The traditional Islamic ceremony) which is basically more of an engagement than a marriage because you do not consummate the marriage but you are then freely permitted to be together to talk etc. I signed the papers, she signed the papers the Sheikh ( religious leader ) said congrats your married and I was allowed to go inside and see her.
She was dressed up all awesome and beautiful I came in and put the diamond on her finger and kissed her hand much to the surprise of her family who gave a bunch of ooohs and ahhhs and laughs from her sisters.
We then were able to spend some quality time together for the first time but still under careful watch by the family. (No closed doors etc) This is basically the get to know you phase so sexual contact is not allowed in case things don't work out there is an easy out and she has not been compromised.
It was great, she had learned some English and My Arabic was significantly better. We spent as much time together as possible and were properly married and consummated the marriage about 2 weeks later.
It's been 8 years now we are still very happily married. It hasn't been easy there have been a LOT of difficulties along the way but somehow we have both grown up a lot.
8 years later and I love her more than I ever have. We have 4 children together and are planing on more. She's an amazing woman and I am more than lucky to have met her.
I am away for work and I get messages like this from her every single day. I left the grammatical errors on purpose. English is not her first language as I said but she does well now.
"Harcesis, I love you and respect you so much and I hope to God that makes me a loyal wife to you. You are all my life and sometimes strange things happen that make me know that I love you and respect you and I want to accept God meant my love and loyalty to you."
:) Yes, I'm bragging a little but I love my wife and am so very lucky and happy to have her!
So, that's how my arranged marriage went :)
#1 The Indian Way!!
My parents' marriage was arranged. My maternal grandfather (major general in the Indian Army) served under my paternal great-grandfather (Chief of Army Staff). So the families had known each other for quite some time, and the decision was made by both sets of grandparents when my mother and father were both very young. Neither of them were told of the arrangement until both were in their 20s. The parents "introduced" them to each other, and they dated for a year.
Well, they ended up marrying and still love each other very much 24 years later. So that's something :)
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