This Little Girl Explained Childbirth To Her Classroom In The Most Badass Way Ever
So this is a story as told by a teacher of 15 years. She has two kids herself but when asked about the best birth story she has ever heard, she said it was the one told by a second-grade student in her own class a few years ago.
Everyone knows 'show and tell' is pretty much full of the normal stuff with kids bringing in things like pets, models, pictures and so on. And this teacher says she never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. All that mattered was that the kids wanted to talk in front of the class.
The teacher says one day, a girl called Erica who was one of the bright, outgoing kids in class.So when her turn comes up, she waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
Then, Erica begins by holding up a snapshot of baby.- "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for 9 months through an umbrella cord." And the teacher says she was trying very hard not to laugh as she watched Erica stand there with her hands on the pillow. The teacher said she wished beyond anything she had a camera recording what was happening and as the kids were watching her in amazement.
I am reading in amazement! She's good isn't she?
#2 And she continues..
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, "Oh, oh, oh!" Then the teacher says Erica starts doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning. "My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my mother to lay down in bed like this." Then she said Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
Oh my god....so funny!
#1 Well done Erica!
The teacher says Erica had her legs spread with her little hands mimicking water flowing away. And it was too much for the teacher to hold her laughter in.
"Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past 10. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
The teacher said that then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. And the teacher confessed she clapped the hardest and loudest. And ever since that day she brings a camcorder to every show-and-tell day, just in case another Erica comes along.
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